Friday, January 20, 2012

Using Mathematics to stay alive

I have received around 20 sms telling me not to cross over the very famous
Jal El dib Highway. This is not to mention the famous image that has been
circulating the net (image below).



I want to give you a couple of hints, on how you can avoid death on this
bridge with the following theory.
First let's do a couple of assumptions. They might be erroneous, but what
the heck, i hope that no one will apply my theory when crossing the bridge:
- Assumption #1: The bridge will either fall on the highway from Jounieh to
Beirut, on itself (centered), on the internal road next to the famous
concrete clock equally. One might argue that the probabilities should not
be equal, but let's keep it simple.
- Assumption #2: You are someone who frequently crosses the bridge
(therefor the probability of applying this concept increases).

Now let's look at the bridge below. Your best bet is to take the bridge. You dont want to be below it on any side because your death will be guaranteed.



And here's what you should do:
1 - Stage 1 (zigzag in red): Slide your car like you are drifting. This would scare people and would make them clear the way for your to hop on the bridge.
2 - Stage 2: you would press the gaz, pump the fuel and speed up on the bridge.
3 - Stage 3: you enjoy your ride as the bridge suspense is now behind you.
[image: Presentation2.gif]
Now note that at least you are not three red dot in the image (this is the poor cop that handles the traffic), and that you cannot apply this theory but for the upcoming couple of hours as the bridge will be removed.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

For the sake of my mom's fresh orange juice

I got a package. Hooray!

Well, it's always nice receiving something from abroad. Specially when it reaches you. I guess in Lebanon we end up finding a value for everything for the sole reason that, at least, it is happening.

I took the notification notice, and went down to get the package. I entered the Libanpost office and here you go: Lebanon represented in a 2 by 5 meter long waiting room. 27 different queues for 3 operators, people passing in between your legs to reach the counter, a couple lighting up some cigarettes in your face... and do not dare to even dare to dare to ask: I'm sorry, how can i know when my turn is up?

The girl behind the counter, backed by the supreme supervisor would answer back: "Just wait in line, can't you see we're doing our job?".

Of course i'm not amazed. When i decided to return to Lebanon, i knew i will be sacrificing the effectiveness of the western world and the courtesy of the western people for the fresh Labneh plate and for my mom's orange juice... but this Libanpost (Byblos Branch) is a private company, supposedly respectful (not to mention how much they are gaining since they do everything from sending a mail to every single government paperwork). The least they can do is to buy a machine and installing a numbering system. Like this people would go in, get a ticket and wait for their number without any physical nor emotional harassment. 

I hope that the next time i receive a package i will be present so that i do not find a notice and find myself in that 2 by 5 meter room that incarnates everything i despise. 

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Trying out something new...

We wanted to watch Sherlock Holmes 2 with the wife. We called the babysitter and hit the road. Needless to say our destination was CityMall as it's the closest movies theater that is somehow acceptable (in comparison to Espace, in Zouk). We were there well in advance - around an hour - and lucky us that we did not find any seats...

Bummed by that fact - since we had somehow imagined a perfect evening holding hands and eating pop corn - we wandered around in our new favorite salad restaurant Grilia. And then we decided to try out something new (as a 2012 resolution). We jumped back to the car and returned to Jounieh. We stopped at Na3na3 restaurant (translated into mint). It was our first encounter and it went on very well. We had an avocado cocktail, played a little backgammon game and returned back home satisfied with our new resolution...

The next day we returned to CityMall and watched Sherlock Holmes with a couple of friends. Seems like the resolution to try out something new lasted for a day before our preferred habits got magically restored.